Heather Gallagher Vento's blog

Since I’m fairly open about my choice for chastity and my lifetime of good and bad decisions regarding romance, many people know that I made a decision to save myself for marriage.  Yes, shockingly, I was a 31-year-old virgin on the day of my wedding.  So, after the wedding, even the morning after, I got a few strange looks from friends and family who wondered, and some dared to ask, “Was it worth the wait?” Simply put…ABSOLUTELY.  It was better than I ever could have imagined.  Let me explain why. 

No Details

No Other Dance

I love to dance and have done it quite a bit in my life, from dance classes, hundreds of dance team practices, swing dancing and randomly jiving around my house.  But, no other dance can even begin to compare with the most amazing dance of my life.  For both Michael and me, the best dance ever happened the night of our wedding, at the reception.  It wasn’t our first dance actually…it was our last.  We decided to leave the reception after one last dance together to a special song by an oldies group, The Drifters, entitled, “Save the Last Dance for Me.”  Here are some of the lyrics. 

True Story: A man heard sounds of rape (not pleasure, but RAPE) coming from the apartment above him. To save the woman, he grabbed his sword, a gift from his military father, and barged into the apartment upstairs. He later found out that that a live rape was not happening, "only" pornography being played too loud. The man was sent to jail for trespassing and had to pay a bond of $5000. The news story.

Although I can understand some of the humor in this man's mistake, I am more struck by the truth that most people have ignored in the situation.

Before you make a phone call tonight to donate to "Idol Gives Back", you should know that some of your money will fund organizations that support abortions as a means of "helping the children". 

Below is the email message I sent to those involved in making decisions on this project.  I admire their desire to help children, but simply hope they will change the organizations they support this year or in future years.

For those coordinating the "Idol Gives Back" program and gift:
 
As an American Idol fan, I am extremely disappointed to know that two of the organizations benefiting from "Idol Gives Back" do not truly help children, but in fact kill the most vulnerable and weak, through abortion.  Aren't the helpless exactly who you are trying to aid? 
 
I will no longer support American Idol in any way if you follow through with giving to UNICEF and Save the Children.  As a public speaker to about 10,000 teens each year for the Catholic Church, I will also make public your efforts to support the destruction of weak children.  The voiceless and vulnerable are those most in need of our aid and we will not be quiet as long as the mass killing of third-world babies continues.
 
Please look into supporting other organizations that truly help all the children in their care.  Please avoid supporting groups that kill some children in their efforts to help other children.  Is any one life more valuable or worth rescuing than another?
 
Lastly, years ago Target supported abortion providers until a public out-cry put a damper in their sales.  They wisely switched to promoting other charities, striving to help all people, and have seen many customers return.  American Idol has been a clean, family-safe program and has an outstanding reputation across this country.  Your efforts to give back could take your program to the next level.  But, instead, with a nation more pro-life than pro-abortion, I envision a decision to support UNICEF and Save the Children will severely damage your reputation and following, even after this charitable effort concludes. 
 
Peace,

For those of you who love the song, “Save a horse (ride a cowboy),” forgive me. Although it has a catchy tune, I have some concerns about this song.

With the title, “Save a horse”, you’d think the artist cares about horses. Actually, shockingly, the song has nothing to do with saving horses, nor does it mention how not riding a horse is actually better for horses. In fact, in the video, the two artists are riding horses. Hummm. So, the title is a lie – the artist does not “give a dang” about saving horses. The song is solely about riding a cowboy - a strong sexual reference. Interestingly, the lyrics continue by adding that he doesn't "give a dang about nothing I’m singing and bling-blinging.” He doesn’t “give a dang.” In there, the honesty lies.

Today, I endured a lovely noise and laying still for about 30 minutes…buzz, buzz, buzzzzzzzz (you get the picture). It was so loud in my ears that I had to wear ear plugs. Then, I was charged $366.00 just for that! Ever had an MRI? I don’t even know what MRI stands for, but I had one today. They put you in a long tube and you must not move at all. Not a morning of fun. And the surgery to correct my knee will not only cost much more, but will also require a 4-week recovery. But, it’s my own fault. I have no one else to blame but myself.

In high school, our pom pon squad thought it would be cool if we did this fun move where we got really high on our toes and then dropped directly down to the floor, on our knees, fast. Boom. I still remember the sound of all these knees pounding down on the gym floor. Wow – and it looked amazing. You could hear the audience go “ahhh” (or was it “ouch”, I can’t remember). The move was illegal in Missouri because, I think, it might cause knee problems in the future. We knew this was a possibility, but the move was so cool. It was worth it! Or was it? We thought, at the time, even though the move was illegal and our sponsor wasn’t crazy about us doing it, that we were the exception to the rule. “We are Pattonville. We’re invincible. We can do whatever we want.” It was a momentary thrill and any potential consequences would come much later in life. “And, besides, we don’t need our knees when we’re old, right?”

I love Q & A sessions on retreats because teens tend to ask the most random questions. Recently, an 8th grader asked if I was getting married. That day I had to respond, “I hope so.” But, today, as an officially engaged woman, I could answer that question by saying, “Why, yes I am!  Thanks for asking.”

On the Feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe, my boyfriend of one year, Michael Vento, asked me to be his bride.

The Day Really Matters
One year ago, on Dec. 12, 2005, I was visiting the Sisters of Life in New York City. Although I never felt much called to religious life, I certainly thought it was beautiful and wanted to give it a chance. I stayed with the amazing Sisters of Life for four days – long enough to begin to get a taste of their community.  And, I honestly adore each of them and their beautiful lifestyle. Over the long weekend, we celebrated the miracle of Our Lady of Guadalupe and I fell in love with this historic event.

This past spring, while my boyfriend Michael and I were leaving a baseball game, my dad took Michael aside to let him in on a secret for impressing women (me, I pray).  He didn't encourage Michael to spend lavish amounts of money on me, but he suggested that Michael take me to Captain D's.  To my astonishment, my dad was beaming over a rarely mentioned or celebrated fast food restaurant.  Something seems wrong with this picture.  But, my dad and the Mrs. (my mom) had been visiting this eatery for a while and are specifically impressed by their Lighter Fare menu.

I tell you this story not to advertise for Captain D's but because it warms my heart every time someone mentions Captain D's around my dad - his eyes literally light up.  He is so excited about the healthy, delicious and inexpensive meals found at a fairly inconspicuous establishment in St. Louis (only a few locations in the area).  It's like when you find the perfect hotel on a vacation - unknown yet clean, comfortable, beautiful view, close the beach and affordable.  Or, when you find the right person for marriage or just the best ice cream on the market.  What a find!

Upon further reflection, I wanted to follow up on my most recent blog “Sacred Soccer”. 

I realized what an honor it is to work in an office, the Catholic Youth Apostolate which includes the CYC, Catholic Scouting, Youth Ministry and REAP, that upholds the ideal of faith and God always coming first.  Often, people lump all sporting groups together with CYC, but there needs to be a clear distinction between parish sports and select sports.  In every parish, the CYC does everything to ensure that both it’s practices and games do not interfere with faith opportunities.  For example, at a recent parish mission, all practices were cancelled for the week to make it possible for families to attend this faith-filled experience.

Our last retreat this year ended on a sour note. As we were wrapping up our closing announcements only 2 minutes after 2 p.m. (the scheduled time to finish), two moms rushed into the room to drag their boys out. I asked if they could wait just three more minutes so the young men could hear the rest of the announcements and pick up some free stuff. One mom replied, “Oh no, he has baseball practice down the road in fifteen minutes. No way, he has to leave now!”

Now, I want to admit right here that on our retreats we really try to start on time and end on time. Our retreat schedules are meticulously planned out, to the minute, and as professionals we need to do our best not to keep people waiting. However, anyone knows that things can happen which can cause minor glitches in the most well-planned events, making them start late or go slightly longer than planned.

You might be wondering…does Heather have a boyfriend? Well, yes I do (he’s a hottie, too, from my Looking for Hotties blog) but I started this blog long before we fell in love and the idea behind it will continue whether we stay together or not.