Save a Horse?

For those of you who love the song, “Save a horse (ride a cowboy),” forgive me. Although it has a catchy tune, I have some concerns about this song.

With the title, “Save a horse”, you’d think the artist cares about horses. Actually, shockingly, the song has nothing to do with saving horses, nor does it mention how not riding a horse is actually better for horses. In fact, in the video, the two artists are riding horses. Hummm. So, the title is a lie – the artist does not “give a dang” about saving horses. The song is solely about riding a cowboy - a strong sexual reference. Interestingly, the lyrics continue by adding that he doesn't "give a dang about nothing I’m singing and bling-blinging.” He doesn’t “give a dang.” In there, the honesty lies.

Story time…
I’ll never forget a float trip I took with my extended family a few years ago. While getting on the bus at the end of the river trip, I had to sit next to a young man – probably around my age at the time. But, as I approached his seat, I noticed him yelling out the window to the bikini-topped women waiting for buses saying, “take it off, shake it, woman!” What joy – I got to sit next to him!

Well, the spirit within me was so violated by his continuous chant that as I asked him if I could sit next him, and he happily approved, my heart was racing with fury. His attention now on me, I turned to him and said, “I’ll sit here, but if you talk to or look at me the way you just did to those women, I will slap you.” Okay, so I’m not a violent woman and I wouldn’t have slapped the guy, but I am an extrovert and what came out of my mouth simply reflected the anger inside.

Shockingly, this man got a little defensive, talking about how he knew those girls and it was harmless. Although I could tell he was intoxicated, I was still searching for some logic to come from this seemingly intelligent man. I mentioned to him that my younger female cousin, who observed his behavior, is of an impressionable age. I said something like, “Girls grow up seeking love and attention. From what you just did, she’s learning from you and many others in the world that she’ll get all the attention she can handle through having a tight body, wearing a skimpy bikini and maybe even shaking a little. This type of behavior objectifies women – they are objects for you to yell at or about, to look at, to use and then to discard when the fun is over. For any girls you yell at, do you give a ‘dang’ about their emotional or relational health or future? Do you even care what the other girls watching are feeling or thinking about themselves as you do this? No, you care only about their bodies for your own kicks. The clear objectification of women in the world is what leads to eating disorders, porn, rape and domestic violence – they are all linked to the idea that women can be used and abused for your pleasure.”

Militant Heather! You heard it here; I’ll admit I went ballistic on this guy. If I had not just spent the previous five hours baking in the summer sun, maybe I wouldn’t have been so nasty. But, there it was. I said it and he sat in shock. To break some tension, we chatted a little more. He told me he went to church and that he’s a good guy. More politely, I challenged him on that premise and finally, after all my challenges, he just admitted…“I guess I really just don’t care.” I had nothing more to say. So we talked about his job as an underwater bridge builder (very interesting, by the way) and moved along to our own campsites when the ride concluded.

The song, “Save a horse (ride a cowboy)”, reminds me of the float trip because, even though my confrontation style was far less than ideal, some spark within me (the Holy Spirit) gave me the courage to stand up for women. So few men (or women) seem to stand up for women in the media these days. They may stand up for the “love of their life” that they’re trying to impress in songs or movies, but that’s about it. Who fights to save women – the ones considered pretty, the ones who feel ugly, the zit-ful, overweight, or insecure?

On a related note, who fights to save the power of sex in pop culture? It’s not Nelly. He’s admitted, when it comes to sex, “you have to try to not get your feelings involved” (CPYU). Sex has become cold, heartless, emotionally empty and bankrupt. It’s physical and that’s it – a norm in the media world that we all watch and often unconsciously buy into.

If pop culture has its way, women will also be cold, heartless, unemotional. Don’t the songs prefer women who can dance around or sleep with numerous men without getting “clingy” (emotional) or complicated? Isn’t friends with benefits so exciting – only physical actions while shutting down and denying the heart? Even the video of “Save a horse” showed a glimpse of this with a mannequin of a girl sitting with the guy – empty inside, just a body. Funny how truth can be found amidst the confusion!

Women are even jumping on board. In the Jann Arden song, “Insensitive”, she asks the guy who coldly dumped her, “Maybe you have some advice to give on how to be insensitive.” Women can use, abuse and be cold, too, you know! “Sex in the City” characters often jump in and out of bed without too many feelings. And, they ask insightful questions in that show, but never find answers. “Why does this feel weird? Is there anything more? Is it good to care so little after sex?”

Who will save sex? Who will save women? Who will say, “Yes, there’s a heck of a lot more that our culture is completely missing out on!”? “There’s a depth, mystery and power to both sex and women and that is being stolen and sold for momentary pleasure.” Who will finally “give a dang”? Will you? Will I?

At the gym last week, a guy was wearing a shirt saying, “Come on, baby, mount me” (or something to the effect). Without the scorn I had on the float trip, I wanted to approach the guy and just politely tell him how that shirt makes me feel and how it affects women as a whole. I didn’t, but, in retrospect, I wish I had.

Related Blog: Porn and a sword exposed