Responding to Social Suicide

There’s a scene in the movie “Mean Girls” where the main character, Cady (played by Lindsay Lohan), decides she is going to join a club at school called the Mathletes, a group that competes in mathematic competitions. People from two distinct cliques, however, advise her not to join, because to do so would be “social suicide.” It is simply not considered cool to be a Mathlete.

Could it be also that, even in some Catholic schools, to be outspoken about one’s moral values, deep faith, and personal relationship with Jesus is akin to joining the Mathletes? Is living for Christ social suicide?

A young person I know has experienced firsthand the difference between going to public school in another part of the country and then moving to St. Louis and attending Catholic school. She described her transition: 

I assumed that in parish schools and Catholic high schools everyone would be strong in their faith. I could not have been more far off. Not to say that there aren’t people who are strong in their faith here, but it is definitely harder to find them than I thought. I’m working on a plan to improve why I don’t enjoy high school as much as I should. I attend a school where school spirit is very important, but spirit for Jesus and the Church is hard to find. All-school Masses are silent, with the exception of the choir and a few students who attempt social suicide by singing. Here the whole school sits, in the True Presence – body, blood, soul and divinity of Jesus – and barely anyone cares. And I feel called by God to change that.

Last summer, I posted her thoughts in a blog I wrote for the Office of Youth Ministry’s website . I asked readers to tell me if her experience rang true to them. And if they were in a similar situation, I asked what they could do to make a change for the better. The following are some of the responses I have received. (To see all of the responses in their entirety, go to here.) 

I find what is happening with the student to be true in most cases. My school is like that. There are a few select students who sing at Mass and who pray with our announcements but not too many people do. I find it sad that we are ashamed to worship God and that we are afraid to sing at Mass because we think we'll be made fun of. 

I definitely feel the very same way. I attend a smaller Catholic school. Our all-school Masses are the same. No one sings, says the responses or participates, and sadly enough, when it is time to receive communion, about half the school does not receive. Our Middle and High Schools are combined. When the middle schoolers see that most of the High School doesn’t respond, they don’t either. I know of a lot of people that don’t participate in Mass because they are afraid that they would get made fun of. And sometimes it does happen which is sad because we are a Catholic School. I think that maybe one thing we can do is just to pray for everyone to have a conversion of heart. 

It is hard to find a stable group of friends that believe the same as you do. However I have noticed that when I am living for God instead of searching them out they have a way of finding me. Now that I am a senior, I notice the younger students looking up to me. I think we have to invest into something that is not just going to pay off immediately. And that something is God. When people live for God I can tell. We can look at them and say, “Wow there is something different about them.” I am often told actions speak louder then words. I hope one day people can look at me and say, “Wow she's different, she's living for Christ.”  

Even though most students who wrote to me agree with the concept that being outspoken about faith equals social suicide, a few students gratefully have told me face-to-face or over the phone that this is not their situation. In some schools it is fine to be into your faith, and it even respected. Praise God for that! 

There are many people, including those in leadership positions, who are trying to do something to make our schools places that are full of faith and love and hope. I meet and talk to these people every day – religion teachers, campus ministers, principals, youth ministers, priests and pastors. In my career as a youth minister, I have met thousands of teens who love Jesus and are trying to make a difference in their schools, homes and communities. 

In a very real sense, Jesus also committed social suicide. He was uncompromising in His love for others and His willingness to proclaim God’s love to everyone, and some hated him for it. Eventually, this led to his death.  But his death is not the end of the story. There is Easter. There is hope. There is victory. If only we endure the cross, heedless of its shame.