Loving Face to Face

“Where are you?” (Genesis 3:9)

                When I read the story of the first family, God and Adam and Eve, I always find it interesting to hear God asking a question as if he didn’t know something.  Adam and Eve had sinned and, in their shame, hid themselves from God.  God is searching for them and, so it seems, he can’t find them.  It makes me wonder: what’s going on?

“… his face shone like the sun and his clothes became white as light” (Matthew 17:2)

                I wonder what God looked like as he searched in the Garden for Adam and Eve.  God is awesome and glorious and nobody had ever seen him face-to-face, but he was walking in the Garden.  And so, I wonder: was he frantically searching for Adam and Eve, or was he just taking his time?  Was he being loud as he walked through the garden, or was he quietly whispering: “where are you?”  Certainly, he knew where they were, so why was he asking?

“Lord, make your face shine upon us” (Psalm 80:3)

                I wonder what Adam and Eve must have been feeling as God searched for them.  Were they afraid?  Did they think that God was upset with them and was going to destroy them now that they had disobeyed him?  Or were they surprised to find that God was searching for them, surprised by his immediate knowledge of their turning away, surprised by his desire to find them?  I wonder whether they longed to really be found.  I wonder if, having separated themselves from Love Himself, whether Adam and Eve immediately regretted their decision and wanted so desperately to have God back.  But, how?  And would He take them back?

"Lord, it is good that we are here.” (Matthew 17:4)

                When I think of God’s search for Adam and Eve, I think about Jesus and his search for us.  He is the shepherd in search for the lost sheep and he desperately searches, leaving everything to find just one.  This, I think, is how God searched for Adam and Eve in the Garden.  It was a desperate search, a loving search, a search which wanted to end not in failure, but in love.  When Jesus brings Peter, Andrew, James, and John to the top of a mountain and shows them his glory in the Transfiguration, they get a glimpse of what God looks like.  The light shines in the darkness; what is hidden is revealed.  God is there—and they are found.  Peter tries to speak, but he doesn’t know what to say.  All that comes out is a simple, “hey, this is good.”

"Come," says my heart, "seek God's face” (Psalm 27:8)

                Once Adam and Eve were found, I wonder what they saw.  Did they see the same face that Peter saw atop that mountain?  Or did they see the face that Peter saw when had denied Jesus three times?  Did their hearts break within them?  Did they tell Him that they were sorry?  Or, did they turn their face away once again and leave?

I took them up in my arms; but they did not know that I healed them (Hosea 11:3)

                As Adam and Eve packed up to leave the Garden, we are often quick to think that God just kicked them out without any sort of mercy or love.  Yet, before they leave the Garden, he gives them clothes.  He does not abandon them, nor leaves them to provide for themselves, but blesses them.  I wonder what Adam and Eve were feeling as they were leaving the Garden.  They knew God was being fair.  And, even more, He was still loving them.  It had to be confusing for them, utterly agonizing.

The Sixth Station: Veronica wipes the face of Jesus

                And for this reason, God sent his only Son, Jesus.  He came to bring humanity back to his heavenly home.  He came to show that God was really serious when he searched for Adam and Eve.  He would go to the ends of the earth to heal the rift that had been made.  He would do anything to show them how much he loved them.  And so, he was stripped of his clothes, he was given a cross, and the humanity which he longed to bring back once again showed him a disbelieving face.

                Yet, here, amidst the blood and death, we see Veronica, holding her clothes up to Jesus’ face, wiping away the blood, the sweat, and the tears.  We can almost hear her words to the Christ: “your face, O Lord, do I seek (Psalm 27:8)”.  It is a great kindness that Veronica extends.  Even more, it is a great act of humility for Jesus to receive it: it means that he, God, is hurt, and needs the love of humanity.  How truly humbling!        

                It is often said that one of the hardest things we can do is to receive charity.  Even harder is it to receive when we are broken, for it means that we have to recognize that we are hurting and in need.  This is very humbling.  But, we must receive God’s love.  It’s the only way home.

                Let us resolve to receive God’s love.  He doesn’t force it upon us, but he invites us: “where are you?”  Let us receive Him in the Sacraments, in the love of others, and in the silence of our rooms.  Let us hear his beckoning, “where are you?” and answer in reply: Here I am, Lord.  Here I am!

God love you!