LEAVE ME ALONE

Yes, that was the subject line of an email I received recently - LEAVE ME ALONE. It really got my attention, and so I wanted to tell you about it, and later on in this blog I’ll tell you why I wanted to tell you about it.

Every student who attends a retreat with the REAP Team has a chance to fill out an evaluation form, and on this form they can put down their email address if they want to be added to our email list. So, after asking to be on our list, and upon receiving her first email message from the REAP Team, here is what this teenage girl wrote to me in that email with the awesome subject line of LEAVE ME ALONE.

I don’t want to be apart of the reap team email thing. Please STOP SENDING ME THIS STUFF!!! God has been out to get me since I was born and I no longer believe in him. Being catholic is a scam and its all lies!

Our policy here at REAP Team HQ is that we never add anyone to our email list without their permission, and we would never keep anyone on our email list who wants to be removed. We also try to respond to every email we receive, even though in our busiest time of year this can take a while. In this case, I felt compelled to respond to this young woman right away. Here is what I wrote back to her -

I got your email and I just wanted to let you know that I have removed you from the REAP Team’s email list, and you won’t be receiving any more emails from us.

We only add people to our email list in the first place if they specifically ask, and would never want to bother or offend anyone with our correspondence. Please forgive me if you have been hurt or offended.

And, I am sorry to hear that you have lost faith in God.

Know that He will always be there, with arms wide open, if you ever do decide to come back. I have experienced a lot of hurt and pain in my life. So did Jesus. He knows how you feel, and even felt abandoned by God when on the Cross. I hope that you will reconsider who Jesus is…one who suffers with us.

I understand if you don’t want to read it, but I wrote a blog about some of these struggles in my life. It is here - Today is Good Friday.

And, finally, I am sorry to hear your feelings about the Catholic Church. As a member, I know that the Church is far from perfect…and yet I still love it. If you ever want to discuss specific struggles or disagreements you have with the Church, let me know. I honestly do not believe that it is “all lies”.

But, I have probably written enough. I hope not too much. Bottom line, you have been removed from our list, and won’t hear from me again - unless you choose to write back. With this note comes a prayer for you…

I cannot tell you how excited I was that Miss LEAVE ME ALONE actually wrote back, almost immediately. Here is what she wrote -

i asked to be a part of the reap team thing a while ago but since then my life and turned for the worst and i lost faith in god. i hope i can regain his trust but its hard.

Well, she knew that if she wrote to me, then I would surely write back to her, and so I did –

I understand where you are at. I have really been through some hard times, and there have been times when I felt far away from God, and wondered if He even existed…

I, too, hope you can regain his trust. It is hard. But worth it. Feel free to write back any time, but no pressure. As I said, I will only reply to you if you write to me, because I don’t want to be a pest…

If you are a reader, though I have a great recommendation. It is a book called “Blue Like Jazz” by a man named Donald Miller. You can check it out from a library. I promise it is not an ‘in your face, push God down your throat’ kind of book, but it is one pretty cool and hip yet questioning guy’s search for God, and trying to sort through some of the problems of life - problems like maybe you are going through? I don’t know for sure. But, I liked the book because the dude is honest. And, I find that kind of rare in people who talk about God. For example, here is one of my favorite quotes from early in the book - Today, I wonder why it is that God refers to Himself as “Father” at all. This, to me, in light of the earthly representation of the role, seems a marketing mistake. Why would God want to call Himself Father when so many fathers abandon their children? (page four)

Can you relate? I sure can. Well, that is enough for now. I gotta go to bed. But, like I said, I am praying for you. And I will be here, if you ever want to chat about things.

I have no idea for sure if my words back to her were what she needed to hear; I have not heard from her since. I have no idea where she is at, or where she is heading. There is no happy ending to this story.

I only decided to share this correspondence with you for two reasons. First of all, so that you might pray for this young woman; that would be awesome. And, second, as an encouragement - the next time that someone tells you (or me) “LEAVE ME ALONE”, either by their words or their actions, they may not really want to be left alone. They may just need some compassion, a listening ear, or a prayer.