75% Friendless

Earlier today, I was driving around and listening to KMOX, 1120 on the AM dial. I know, I know – I’m old. Now that the Cardinals are no longer broadcast on KMOX, I am sure that most of you think that only old people drive around listening to KMOX. In my defense, it was the top of the hour, and KMOX is a great source for national and local news at the top of every hour. Don’t think I’m trying to justify my radio listening habits; I mean, I still listen to KSHE 95 FM sometimes - but I guess that still makes me old. Can you believe that they call it “classic rock” when it’s the stuff I grew up listening to?

Anyway, I heard a news story this morning that saddened me deeply. According to a recent study, only ¼ of all Americans have a friend that they consider close enough to confide in. Let the power of this statistic sink in for a moment. 75% of all people in this country, perhaps 3 of every 4 people that you and I know, are, for all practical purposes, friendless.

Sure, most Americans probably have lots of acquaintances – family members, co-workers, parishioners, classmates – but very few have someone that they consider a true friend. Someone they can confide in.

So, what does this mean for you and for me? I’m glad you asked, because I have a few thoughts. If you are one of that 75% - if you have no one in your life that you can confide in - I have three suggestions for you. First of all, seek out a true friend. Real friendship is possible, and is a gift that God really desires for all people. And, I will give you an idea how to find a real friend. A man named Dale Carnegie once said this, and I totally believe it – “You will make more friends in two weeks of becoming interested in others, than you will in two years of trying to get others interested in you." When you hang out with people, encourage them to talk about everyone’s favorite topic – themselves! When we allow others to tell us about themselves, they generally love the conversation. My second suggestion is – give your church community a real chance! The church is the body of Christ, and I believe that one of the reasons Jesus draws people together is to meet this very basic need for true friendship. If you are a teen, check out your parish youth group, or one at a neighboring parish. If you are older, join a parish prayer group or other organization. Not only might you find a friend, but God might want to use you to be a friend to someone in your faith community. This is a great way to strengthen the body of Christ. Third, and most importantly, get to know Jesus as well as you can. He is the best friend that any of us can ever have, and we can confide in Him about anything and everything. He happens to be my best friend, and there is no substitute. A huge added benefit of turning to Jesus is that He will help you to become the person He created you to be, which will in turn make you more attractive, as a friend, to others.

If you are blessed to be in that 25% that has a good friend that you can confide in (or even more than one), I have three suggestions for you (and myself), too. First of all, thank God for the blessing of having a true friend, which is gift beyond compare. Second, protect what you have! So many great friendships get ruined forever because of gossip, jealousy, petty arguments, and cattiness – be on your guard to protect your relationships from these things. Third, don’t get complacent – and this can be a struggle for me, by the way. It is easy to become so comfortable with the friendships we have that we stop reaching out to others. By continuing to reach out to others, I could meet an angel. Hebrews 13:2 says "Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unaware." And, every time I reach out to another person in friendship, I am certain to meet Jesus. In Matthew 25:40 Jesus says, "…what so ever you do to the least of my people, you do unto me."

Finally, I have a message for everyone. Stay open for any opportunity to share Jesus with the people you meet every day. When you have a best friend, don’t you look forward to having your other friends meet that person? Every person in this world needs to know Jesus, because He is the best friend anyone could ever have. As I said earlier, he is the best friend that any of us can ever have, and we can confide in Him about anything and everything. So, sharing our faith just might be the 100% friendliest thing we can ever do.